


this magic moment

by wintrs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Getting Together, Little Witch Chanyeol, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Magic, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Not Actually Unrequited Love, References to Drugs, Witches, potions do not work like drugs but nonetheless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-13 06:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16887420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintrs/pseuds/wintrs
Summary: SomaybeChanyeol's been nursing a crush on Junmyeon since his first year.Maybehe's been trying to catch Junmyeon's attention lately.Maybehe's brewed a love potion.Maybehe intends on using it on Junmyeon so he'll return Chanyeol's feelings.Every university student/witch-in-training does that at some point, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my wonderful betas M and C, mods, and suyeol for being unbearably cute lately!
> 
> To my prompter: I hope this meets your expectations! I deviated from the original prompt quite a bit tonally but I hope you enjoy regardless!
> 
> UPDATE: ahhh my fault but a lot of the formatting got messed up and I didn’t notice until 12/21! I fixed it all up and it should be good now but I’m sorry to anyone who saw that ㅠㅠ

Chanyeol is a good witch, okay. He really is. 

Even though witches and humans are almost fully integrated these days—Chanyeol’s mixed university a testament to that fact—the ‘evil witch’ stereotype persists. Chanyeol certainly doesn’t play that part well, and anyone who’s interacted with him for more than five minutes could tell you. His spells and potions are never malicious, and he always has a counterspell or antidote handy just to be safe. He harbors no ill will to humans or any other species. Physically, too—it’s not like he’s green and warty. Plus, he’s male.

So no, he doesn’t live up in a tower wearing mysterious black robes and pointy hats. All in all, Chanyeol is your run-of-the-mill good witch. 

“Chanyeol, this might be your dumbest idea yet. And your ideas tend to be pretty dumb already,” Kyungsoo says.

He had come into the kitchen a minute ago, probably to get a glass of water, and he was clearly surprised to see that Chanyeol had commandeered one of the burners of their stove to make a potion. He immediately turned to peer over Chanyeol’s shoulder, and as not only Chanyeol’s roommate but a fellow witch, Kyungsoo surely recognized the potion for what it was instantly. After a long pause, he looks up from Chanyeol’s work with a judgemental frown.

Okay, so Chanyeol’s a mostly good witch.

“You should be more supportive! I’m practicing outside of class,” Chanyeol says. He avoids Kyungsoo’s critical gaze and focuses on peeling the rest of the petals off of a rose, dropping them all into his miniature cauldron and watching the pink mixture bubble up. “Besides, not only is a love potion incredibly difficult to mess up, I’m making an antidote next.” Chanyeol side-eyes Kyungsoo, cringing when he sees his still-frowning face. 

“And you don’t think essentially drugging someone to fall in love with you is even the tiniest bit manipulative? Love potions fell out of practice for a reason.”

“Drugging makes it sound really severe! It’s more like… seasoning.”

Kyungsoo is too bewildered to respond for a second. “Did you seriously just compare a love potion to seasoning food? You sound like Baekhyun.” 

Chanyeol frowns. “Okay, it’s a little more severe than that. But still, it’s not like I’m really drugging him. If he truly hates my guts, the potion won’t have any effect! We both know that all a love potion does is amplify feelings that already exist. He has to already like me, at least a little bit, for it to do anything.” 

“You should just ask him out normally,” Kyungsoo says. “You never know until you try.” Kyungsoo pauses, letting Chanyeol stew for a moment as they both watch his potion start to turn colors.

“Junmyeon deserves better than a love potion—you know that.”

“Probably true, but he also deserves better than me. And this school. And especially Sehun.” Chanyeol can feel Kyungsoo’s eye-roll from here. He adds a few drops of honey into the potion—the final ingredient—and puts a lid over his cauldron. He needs only to leave it to boil with the cover for five minutes, and then his love potion will be ready for consumption.

Kyungsoo turns away from the potion. As Chanyeol expected, he fills a glass of water to take back to his room. Kyungsoo walks to the threshold of the kitchen, but he stops before he makes his way out.

“I’d just like to remind you one last time how dumb of an idea this is,” he says. “But I know that nothing I say is going to stop you, so just make sure you get the antidote right.” 

Kyungsoo finally goes, leaving Chanyeol alone once again. 

In a little under thirteen minutes, Chanyeol will have approximately thirty milliliters of perfectly-brewed potion—and, regardless of what Kyungsoo thinks, he knows it’ll be the key to Junmyeon’s heart.

——

For as long as he’s known him, Chanyeol’s been kind of captivated by Kim Junmyeon.

From potions classes to dance competitions to favorite restaurants, Chanyeol’s friends and Junmyeon’s friends had been intertwined since Chanyeol first started university. With so many connections, their meeting was practically inevitable—and when it happened, Chanyeol found himself inexplicably dazzled.

For a long time, he couldn’t put his finger on what, exactly, made Junmyeon so captivating to him. Initially, all Chanyeol saw in Junmyeon was a kind, trustworthy student and friend; Chanyeol thought that he may just be interested because this faultless image of Junmyeon seemed too good to be true. Especially for a human unassisted by magic, Junmyeon always seemed to know how to solve any problem, no matter how big or small. However, even as Chanyeol became closer to him, bore witness to his complexities and failings, Chanyeol’s odd captivation didn’t diminish. If anything, seeing the whole of Junmyeon made his feelings grow stronger. 

The first time Chanyeol was able to put a name to his feelings specifically was during his second year. The whole lot of his friends was gathered in Junmyeon and Minseok’s shared off-campus apartment, ostensibly for a sober night of video games and movies. When Junmyeon wasn’t paying attention, Sehun had attempted to wheedle Chanyeol into raiding Minseok’s fridge for something to drink. Chanyeol, a college student unlikely to turn down free anything, let alone alcohol, was easily convinced. 

—

“Ah, here’s the stash,” Sehun says as he scans through the contents of Minseok’s fridge. “Minseok and Junmyeon always have the good stuff.” Sehun pulls out a handful of beers and steps aside so Chanyeol can grab the rest.

Chanyeol shuts the refrigerator door behind them and the pair head back into the front room. Not much had changed in the time they’d been gone—it had only been a few minutes, after all—but since then, Yixing had arrived, and Jongdae and Baekhyun had pulled Junmyeon down between them on Minseok’s sofa. Sehun greets Yixing and sets his beers down on Minseok’s low coffee table before reclaiming his seat next to Jongin in front of the sofa. Chanyeol does the same, and thankfully, no one had stolen Chanyeol’s chair while he was up either.

Kyungsoo, Jongin, Baekhyun, and Jongdae are mid-race in Mario Kart. Kyungsoo, as usual, has a strong lead. The other three are… not so steady.

“So, who’s in the lead?” Chanyeol asks, sly smile flitting onto his face. 

Baekhyun sticks out his tongue in what is probably supposed to be Chanyeol’s general direction. “It’s not over ‘til it’s over, asshole. Just because Kyung—What the hell!” Baekhyun shakes his controller, narrowly avoiding cracking Sehun in the back of the head. “I did not drive off that cliff!” 

(He definitely had driven off that cliff.)

Eventually, the controller gets passed to Chanyeol, and Baekhyun’s shrieks only get louder from there. The truth is, Chanyeol’s just good at Mario Kart. He grew up playing it with his sister and the kids in their neighborhood. But Baekhyun is adamant—and starting to convince Sehun and Jongin, as well—that Chanyeol uses spells to somehow cheat.

“There’s gotta be—” Baekhyun pauses, driving through a particularly difficult section of the map “—there’s gotta be a steering spell, or a driving spell, or something. Automatic steering is already in the game, I’m sure Chanyeol can discreetly hack it with his magic mind powers or something.”

Chanyeol huffs, eyes glued to the screen. “First of all, the fact that you think I would ever—ever—stoop so low as to use Smart Steering is offensive. Second of all, hurry up and accept the fact that you suck at Mario Kart. You accuse me of cheating for beating you, but it’s not my fault you can’t drive.”

Baekhyun yelps, and Chanyeol sees Baekhyun’s section of the split-screen black out in his peripherals. “Even if I can’t drive it doesn't mean you’re not cheating! What, there’s no Latin word for ‘steer?’ Or ‘guide?’ Seriously?”

“Well,” Kyungsoo says, “the closest word would probably be ‘dērige,’ but—”

“I knew it!” Baekhyun shouts, practically bouncing in his seat. 

Kyungsoo’s resigned amusement is a tangible thing. “BUT, as I was saying, you don’t have to use any Latin necessarily. It’s more exhausting to use a spell when you don’t have a verbal cue, but Chanyeol could still use one without saying anything if he wanted to.” 

“But he isn’t,” Minseok is quick to add, “because I would feel it if he was.” Minseok is by far the most attuned to magic among them, and so it’s true that if Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, or Yixing were to use magic, Minseok would know. 

“What, so there’s no ‘hide’ spell?” Jongdae asks, deliberately stirring the pot. “If you can make magic do whatever you want, why couldn’t you tell it to hide itself from other witches?”

“Exactly! Thanks, babe. It’s so obvious he’s cheating, I mean, you really expect me to believe that he gets first all by himself with that godawful kart? He’s not even on a—Oh, come on!” Baekhyun groans as his screen blacks out yet again. 

The two of them and their uniformed views on both magic and Mario Kart are a lot to unpack. Luckily, Kyungsoo, perpetually awaiting opportunities to correct Baekhyun, beats Chanyeol to it.

“Minseok is better than any hiding spell could—” 

“As interesting as it is to hear more about magic,” Junmyeon says, “and as fun as Mario Kart is, maybe we should give it a rest for tonight. How about a movie instead? Last time Baekhyun screamed this much, the neighbors filed a complaint.”

“Okay, one, rude, as if I’m the only one screaming,” Baekhyun says. “But either way, I’m fine with stopping after this race, as long as Chanyeol admits he’s cheating.”

“Why can’t I be good at Mario Kart just because I’m good?” Chanyeol argues, distractedly. He’s in his third lap, and he can see the race’s finish line approaching on the map. “You don’t accuse Kyungsoo of cheating, or Minseok! They’re both good too, and they’re better at spells than me.” 

“I don’t trust you, Park. They’re good, but you’re too good,” Baekhyun says. Chanyeol glides through the finish with ease; first place, as usual. “ARE YOU—” Baekhyun exclaims. “Okay. You know what? Fine.” 

Chanyeol finally lets his attention fall away from the screen as his victory lap plays. Baekhyun is sprawled back on the sofa in defeat. 

“A movie sounds great, Junmyeon,” Chanyeol says, smirking at Baekhyun. “What did you have in mind?”

Thankfully, the movie selection process goes more smoothly than normal. Minseok chose this time, a Korean film apparently adapted from a popular drama. Minseok rarely suggests anything himself, content with only vetoing others’ ideas when necessary, so when he does recommend, the movie has to be pretty good. And, for some reason, the other two beagles don’t have much to say one way or the other.

The movie is good so far, and one Chanyeol’s never heard of and therefore not spoiled on, so by all counts he should be interested. However, the longer the movie goes, the more Chanyeol finds his eyes drawn to the sofa instead.

Baekhyun and Jongdae have apparently decided to spend this movie night messing with Junmyeon.

Chanyeol isn’t sure if it had been their intent all along, pulling him in like that, but he suspects it to be so based on their easy acceptance of the movie earlier. The lights in the sitting room and kitchen are off, making it hard for Chanyeol to see exactly what’s going on, but with the light from the television, he can just make out both of their heads close to Junmyeon’s ears and the slight rustle of fabric on Junmyeon’s waist. Someone—probably Jongdae—is running their hand up and down Junmyeon’s side.

Junmyeon, to his credit, is trying his best to keep his eyes focused on the screen—not that it seems to be working.

Flustering Junmyeon is something of a sport to Jongdae and Baekhyun; the pair have always been a little shameless with him. They compliment his hair and face and ass in equal measure, throw arms around him and poke fingers into his sides, tickle him and pull him into their laps, pay for his drinks and buy him little gifts on occasion like it’s nothing. Really, they only do it to make their more reserved friend blush and clam up—Chanyeol knows there’s nothing behind the gestures. 

Still, the sight unsettles Chanyeol, as such displays usually do. He doesn’t have a problem with Jongdae and Baekhyun—they’re his best friends, after all, and he’s usually in on their antics. However, he just can’t see himself teasing Junmyeon the way they do, even though he’s even quicker than the others to tease and play-insult Junmyeon with words. And it’s not like his problem is with the pair of them doing such things while they’re dating, either, because Chanyeol knows that the gestures don’t mean anything. (And, honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up with a third anyway. The two of them have a LOT of love—and he has no problem with that.) 

“Would you two knock it off,” Junmyeon says in a low voice. Baekhyun and Jongdae laugh softly. Junmyeon jumps a little—somebody probably pinched him. 

Chanyeol glances to the rest of the group, but nobody else is watching the display. Minseok and Yixing seem to actually be watching the movie; Sehun is on his phone, probably trying to chat someone up; Kyungsoo is petting through Jongin’s hair on the floor, as wrapped up in each other as the three on the sofa, but far more innocently. 

Chanyeol would find it cute if he wasn’t already distracted. 

“Ahh, we know you like it though, Junmyeonnie,” Baekhyun says, teasing lilt in his voice.

Jongdae, as in tune with Baekhyun as ever, also sounds exactly like a cat who’s gotten his cream. “Yeah, you’re such a cutie, bun. You like your attention.” 

Chanyeol wills his eyes to slide back to the television.

Junmyeon can put a stop to it, if he wants to. He has before. Baekhyun and Jongdae don’t do this to hurt him; they aren’t cruel, not at all. They would stop as soon as he gave them a real push, a stern word or look, or if they could tell that Junmyeon really didn’t like whatever they were doing. Baekhyun and Jongdae are both incredibly perceptive people, and when they do things like this, Chanyeol knows that they’re careful not to overstep too far. That wouldn’t be good for anyone.

And Junmyeon does like the attention—Jongdae is surely right about that. Junmyeon knows as well as Chanyeol and the rest of them do, that the pair of them don’t have any motive for it, really. It isn’t sexual or anything. It’s just teasing for the sake of teasing. And for Junmyeon, who hasn’t been in a serious relationship for some time now, it’s probably quite nice to get that type of treatment from his friends who he knows he can trust. 

So it’s not any of Chanyeol’s business, really. None of his business at all.

Chanyeol glances back to the sofa. Junmyeon is putting up his most valiant effort, pushing Jongdae and Baekhyun’s pawing hands away. The sight makes something curl hot and tight in Chanyeol’s belly. 

“Do you want us to stop?” Jongdae asks, genuine. “We will, you know—all you have to do is ask.” And just like that, he’s back to teasing. Chanyeol can envision his kitty-cat smile perfectly. 

Chanyeol hears Junmyeon huff softly. Baekhyun and Jongdae giggle and continue to prod and whisper. Baekhyun turns his voice down, even quieter than the rest of their comments have been, but Chanyeol is listening intently and hears anyway.

“Thought so, bunny.”

Jongdae and Baekhyun don’t do much more after that, content to wrap arms around Junmyeon and actually start watching the movie. Without everything that Chanyeol had witnessed already, it would seem like a perfectly normal, friendly move in their tactile friend group. But Chanyeol, who’s seen everything, still feels oddly uncomfortable just looking at them sitting close to each other.

He doesn’t like the feeling. It makes him feel like shit, honestly, because it feels like he’s mad at Junmyeon or Baekhyun and Jongdae, when he know she isn’t. He knows he isn’t, but he can’t think of any other explanation either. So why does he feel sick to his stomach whenever Baekhyun and Jongdae do these things?

Chanyeol tries to turn his focus away from his thoughts to the movie.

“Ah, I don’t know,” the female lead says, sighing dramatically on screen. “He’s just… perfect! He’s funny, compassionate, smart… and rich and handsome to boot! I just wish he would see me for once, instead of that girl he’s always chasing after, Minyoung. She gets everything she wants, and…”

Chanyeol has no idea what’s going on, really. He knows that that’s the female lead, at least, and he knows the man she’s referring to. Honestly, she seems a bit whiny right now, but who wouldn’t want a man that’s funny, compassionate, and seemingly good at everything? He does sound perfect. Chanyeol sure doesn’t know anyone like that, or he would definitely snatch him up in an instant.

It clicks. Chanyeol feels like the biggest idiot in the world. 

The feeling that made Chanyeol sick everytime Junmyeon was being teased? The one he got whenever someone other than Chanyeol made Junmyeon particularly happy and bashful and pleased?

Chanyeol is jealous. 

He isn’t angry at Baekhyun or Jongdae or Junmyeon, he’s not angry because Junmyeon is being teased. He’s jealous because he’s not the one doing it. 

Because Junmyeon—he is all those things. He’s compassionate, intelligent, and despite the bad jokes, he’s funny. He’s handsome and, although he isn’t rich, he’s hard-working, and selfless, and strong-willed, too. 

Chanyeol’s not angry. He’s jealous, because he’s had a crush on Junmyeon since, well, probably since the beginning.

——

Chanyeol stumbles upon the perfect opportunity to plant the potion a few days after brewing. He has a written exam in spells coming up, and out of habit, he goes to the university library to study. (In his years in a shared dorm with Baekhyun, it was a necessity—which is how it became a habit.) In a school so big, he wouldn’t expect to run into his friends as often as he does, but he still finds himself seeing them unexpectedly in the library quite often. And today is more of the same. 

He finds Junmyeon and Minseok at a table near the entrance. First-year Chanyeol would’ve been reluctant to sit with the older students, but third-year Chanyeol sets his bag down without a second thought. 

“Chanyeol!” Junmyeon says, looking up from his laptop. “Good to see you. It’s been a few days, hasn’t it?”

It has. Junmyeon, currently workshopping a major paper for one of his hardest classes, had been floating in his own little bubble of research for the past week or so. He doesn’t push anyone away, per se, but, much like Chanyeol himself when he’s working on a new project, he forgets that sleeping and eating and talking to people are standard human activities. 

“Yeah, I guess it has,” Chanyeol says. “Wrapped up in your paper?” 

Minseok scoffs. “Do you even have to ask? I’m his roommate, and I’ve barely seen him all week.” Junmyeon’s nose scrunches at the accusation.

Cute. 

“That’s not true! I only started the assignment a couple of days ago,” Junmyeon says. 

“You started last Thursday,” Minseok says, a musical laugh chiming out. “It’s Wednesday.” Junmyeon flushes and frowns in exaggerated annoyance, and Chanyeol can’t help but laugh too. 

“I could’ve sworn it was Monday…” Junmyeon says. “Well, anyway, I’m glad to see you’re being diligent with your studies, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol settles into his chair. “Well, I don’t know about that—” 

Minseok cuts him off. “Don’t get too settled. Sitting at our table comes with a high cost.” Chanyeol shoots him a look, which Minseok promptly pretends not to notice. “Go pick up coffee for us, and then you can sit.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes good-naturedly and gets up. “Sure, your highness,” he says. “The usual?” 

Minseok nods, and Chanyeol turns to Junmyeon. “And you?”

“I’ll have my usual as well, but don’t worry about paying for it all, Chanyeol,” Junmyeon says. He reaches for his wallet. “I’ll buy today. This should be enough for the three of us.” Junmyeon pulls out a few bills and tries to push them into Chanyeol’s hand.

Chanyeol refuses the money, pulling his own wallet out of his backpack instead. “No need, Junmyeonnie. My treat, since you’re working hard. And I’ll buy for Minseok too because he’s sweet but also incredibly scary when angry.” 

As expected, Junmyeon is adamant. “And if I insist?” 

“You should never refuse a treat, Junmyeon. That’s just rude,” Minseok says. Chanyeol shrugs his agreement, silently praising Minseok. Chanyeol doesn’t like to guilt Junmyeon, but if it gets him to let them treat him once in a while, well…

Besides, Chanyeol figures, Junmyeon will never grow out of his guilt about being cared for if Chanyeol and their friends don’t push him.

As Chanyeol’s walking away, he hears Junmyeon complain to Minseok, “But isn’t that what he just did to me?” and Chanyeol can’t help but laugh, again. 

Their university library, in all of its sprawling grandness, has a Starbucks built inside. For students like Chanyeol, practically addicted to coffee, the built-in shop is heaven on Earth. Luckily, not too many students are in the library currently, so the line isn’t long at all. He gets to the front quickly, orders the three drinks, and moves off to the side to wait.

As he’s watching their drinks being made, he realizes that this would be the perfect opportunity for his love potion. The potion can be carried on anything consumable, so Junmyeon’s drink will work just fine. The three of them have easily recognizable orders, as well, so there won’t be a kdrama-like mix-up as to who gets the potion. 

His name is called (the barista, a new girl Chanyeol’s never met, pronounces it very, very incorrectly—you win some, you lose some), and he carries the drink tray over to the condiment bar. Thankfully, Minseok’s drink requires a little extra maintenance, which provides Chanyeol the perfect cover to discreetly pour the potion into Junmyeon’s coffee. He precariously adds milk to Minseok’s tea with one hand and slips the potion bottle out of his pocket with the other. It’s small enough that it’s no problem to have it on hand, and, as proven today, he had no way of knowing when he was going to get the opportunity to use it. 

Chanyeol takes a look around. Being all secretive like this, checking to make sure no one is watching before he pours something into a drink… it really looks like he’s drugging Junmyeon. He’s not, but. Now that this love potion idea is real and not just theoretical, Chanyeol’s feeling a little bit uneasy about the whole thing. 

It’s not like he’s actually drugging Junmyeon, though, and this is the only way to get Junmyeon to return his feelings. And... if Junmyeon has silently hated him all along, at least Chanyeol will know the truth.

He takes one more cursory glance around before dumping the potion in. It blends in seamlessly as soon as it touches the froth on top, and Chanyeol’s heart skips a beat at the thought of what’s to come after Junmyeon drinks it. 

When he returns to the table, Junmyeon and Minseok are chatting, Junmyeon clearly getting a bit annoyed.

“Thank-you,” Minseok sing-songs when he sees Chanyeol, cutting Junmyeon off and reaching out a grabby hand for his drink. 

Chanyeol hands him his tea and holds Junmyeon’s drink out for him to take as well. Junmyeon accepts it, thanking Chanyeol with a smile. Chanyeol finally sits down and settles into his seat.

“We were just talking about taking a vacation together over spring break,” Minseok says, sipping at his tea. “I’m thinking the beach. What do you think of that?”

“What, for all of us?” Chanyeol asks. “The beach would be fun.”

“Wouldn’t it?” Minseok says. He flicks a finger toward Junmyeon. “This one doesn’t think so.” 

“Really?” Chanyeol asks, surprised. Junmyeon’s usually all-for bonding things like that—he’s often the one to suggest group trips and the like himself. “Why not?”

Junmyeon sighs. “I know what area Minseok has in mind, and I’m just not sure about going there. But I do think going on a trip with all of us would be a lot of fun,” Junmyeon says. “I really have to get back to my paper, though.”

Minseok shrugs at Chanyeol and starts typing away on his phone. Chanyeol pulls out his own work, and as he sets it on the table, he sees Junmyeon take the first sip of his coffee. 

The potion should take effect in about twenty-four hours, and Chanyeol holds onto his excitement in an attempt to squash down the unease that’s begun to take root within him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chanyeol waits. 

He has enough self-awareness to know that suddenly trying to spend all day, every day with Junmyeon would be more suspicious than it’s worth. He’s been trying to play it cool, feel things out, but it’s already been more than a week since he’d administered the potion, and he’s seen exactly no change in Junmyeon. Chanyeol hasn’t actually seen him in the week since, courtesy of Junmyeon’s continuing work on his paper, but all of their conversations over text have been the same as usual.

**[Junmyeon] 12:35 PM**  
_Thanks again for the coffee yesterday. I’ll really buy next time, you and Minseok are too much…_

Junmyeon is as kind and generous as ever...

**[Junmyeon] 7:57 AM**  
_I know you have an exam in spells today, good luck!! I’ll be cheering for you all day :-)_

He wishes Chanyeol luck for one of his tests, just like always...

**[Junmyeon] 2:04 AM**  
_I just saw your story on instagram, please take care of yourself okay? It’s quite late._

**[Junmyeon] 2:05 AM**  
_Even though you’re probably drunk right now, ha. I know you’re smart enough to stick with the group anyway._

**[Junmyeon] 2:10 AM**  
_You’ve always had a better tolerance than me too so I guess I shouldn’t be too worried._  
_Have fun :-) one day you’ll be old like me and ‘fun’ will be long in the past_

And he looks after Chanyeol the way a proper older brother should. Unfortunately, that’s all Junmyeon seems to want to be even _after_ the love potion.

And now, they’re here.

“Obli… Obliviscuhray? Obliviscuhray.” Junmyeon says. Chanyeol tries his best not to visibly cringe when Junmyeon neglects to turn the ‘v’ sound into a ‘w.’

Junmyeon is helping Chanyeol study for his next spells test. His spells tests are equal parts practical application and random vocab he’ll never use in real life, and Junmyeon has been helping Chanyeol with the vocab terms since shortly after their first meeting in Chanyeol’s first year. It’s become something of a ritual for them, and Chanyeol’s pretty sure he would be doing a lot worse in the class without their study sessions.

The classical Latin still doesn’t hold very well in Junmyeon’s mind, even after two and a half years of diligent attempts. Regardless, during these sessions Junmyeon is as earnest and adorable as ever. Chanyeol is suffering in the best possible way.

“You were close that time, Junmyeonnie,” Chanyeol says. Junmyeon scrunches his nose slightly and frowns, and Chanyeol really shouldn’t find it so endearing. “It means forget.” 

“No need to spare my feelings,” Junmyeon says. “How is it really pronounced? I want to get it right next time.”

“Oblīvī́scere. You missed the ‘v’ sound and the ‘ī́scer’ was a little shaky.” Chanyeol can practically see the wheels in Junmyeon’s head turning, trying to get him to absorb the information. “But I don’t expect you to know the pronunciations, and I understood you anyway. It’s nice enough that you’re helping me study, even after all this time. I can’t thank you enough—I would probably fail without you.” Junmyeon’s face flushes at the praise, looking mildly put off, as usual when people compliment him for things he deems unnecessary. 

“Chanyeol, you know I’m happy to help you with anything you need, so stop thanking me. I’ve told you to stop thanking me for that over and over again.” Chanyeol feels himself flush, now. “Besides, all these obscure Latin words will help me at some point, right? If you ever forget how to cast a ‘forget’ spell without exhausting yourself, I’ll remind you. ‘Oblīvī́scuhre.’”

“It’s ‘-ere’” Chanyeol says in lieu of thanking Junmyeon again. Junmyeon lets out a sigh of defeat, and Chanyeol can’t help the smile blasting way-too-obvious on his face. “Let’s just move on.”

They get through the rest of Chanyeol’s set and repeat twice, and Chanyeol’s pretty confident in his knowledge by the time they finish.

“Well, you sounded perfect that time. I’m sure you’ll ace your test,” Junmyeon says. “And I think my pronunciation improved as well.”

“Your pronunciation definitely improved! I’m proud, you finally remembered the ‘v’ sound. Your real test will be if you remember next time we study, though,” Chanyeol teases. “I’m doubtful.”

Junmyeon chuckles good-naturedly. “Ah, the disrespect—of course I’ll remember!” 

“So, your test is next Thursday, right?” Junmyeon continues after a moment of comfortable silence. “I’ll be sure to wish you luck.”

“Yeah, it is. And thanks—I’ll probably need the extra luck for the application portion this time,” Chanyeol says. “Oh, and didn’t you turn in your paper a couple days ago? How do you think it went?”

Junmyeon bites at his lip, considering. “I think it went well, but I won’t know until it’s scored. I put in all the work and I checked and rechecked all of my writing and sources, but I’m afraid I missed something.” He sighs. “I mean, I know I didn’t, I even had Baekhyun and Kyungsoo look over it for me. But still.” 

Chanyeol nods his agreement but doesn’t otherwise respond. He’s not sure if Junmyeon wants to say anything else about it, and Chanyeol doesn’t want to push here.

Junmyeon checks his watch (the fact that he still wears a watch: another thing Chanyeol loves about him) and startles. 

“Oh—I had no idea it was getting so late already. I better go,” he says. “Sorry, Chanyeol, I have to pick up some things from my apartment before class.” Junmyeon stands up from Chanyeol’s couch and he folds his arms back to stretch. Chanyeol stands up as well to see Junmyeon out, trying to recenter himself so he doesn’t say something stupid right before Junmyeon goes. Chanyeol had lost track of time too, as he often does with Junmyeon, and he’s a bit disoriented and disappointed to be forced to let go of him so abruptly. 

“You did well today,” Junmyeon says when they reach the threshold. “I feel like a proud dad saying that, but it’s true.” Junmyeon smiles, and Chanyeol practically melts with how pretty he looks. That’s the kind of thing he’d better not accidentally blurt out in front of Junmyeon, still seemingly unaffected by the potion.

“Thank you,” Chanyeol says instead, “and I’m sure your essay was perfect. We should go out to dinner or something to celebrate since it was such a major paper.”

Junmyeon chuckles and flushes again. Unnecessary compliments. “Ah, it’s not that important, really. You’re flattering me.” Junmyeon’s warm eyes meet Chanyeol’s directly for a beat longer than normal, and Chanyeol’s heart flutters. “But, I wouldn’t be opposed to going to dinner.” Junmyeon pauses, and for a moment, Chanyeol thinks. Maybe. 

“We should see when everyone is free. Now that I think of it, it’s been some time since all of us were together.” Chanyeol feels himself deflate. 

“Sure thing, Junmyeon,” Chanyeol says, smiling, trying his best to mask his mild disappointment. “Talk to you soon, okay?” 

“Of course.” Junmyeon braces his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder and nods, smiling, before turning away and walking down the hall. Chanyeol watches him go until he gets too far down the stairs to be seen.

Chanyeol closes the door with a sigh. Nothing about their study session—the studying, the chatting, the blushing, the goodbye—nothing was out of the ordinary. Chanyeol’s reading too far into their conversations—why wouldn’t Junmyeon assume that Chanyeol had meant a dinner for all nine of them? That’s how celebratory dinners typically go in their friend group. 

He’ll just have to keep waiting for the potion to do its job. 

——

The next time Chanyeol sees Junmyeon, Chanyeol is in quite the outfit, consisting of what is undoubtedly his least attractive pair of underwear and an oversized sweatshirt. He should’ve been expecting anyone when he opened the door, yes, but he definitely wasn’t expecting Junmyeon. Chanyeol mentally scolds himself, but Junmyeon doesn’t seem phased either way, still smiling mildly after his initial greeting. 

Well, Chanyeol supposes, it’s true that despite outward appearances Junmyeon is quite messy himself. 

“I know you weren’t expecting me, but Kyungsoo left one of his binders with Yixing by mistake, and I offered to drop it by for him,” Junmyeon says. Kyungsoo had tested into some of the more advanced magic-related courses in their first year, so he shares a couple of classes with fourth-year Yixing, and they often study together. The idea of him forgetting a binder at one of those sessions isn’t implausible at all. 

Chanyeol shouldn’t have assumed that Junmyeon was here to see him, anyway, but the confirmation that he wasn’t stings more than Chanyeol would like to admit.

“Ah, I see,” Chanyeol says. “Well, Kyungsoo isn’t here now, but you can leave it and I’ll make sure he knows it’s from you.” Junmyeon chews on his lip, and Chanyeol thinks he may have let the disappointment bleed into his voice by mistake. 

“You don’t have to say that it’s from me, exactly, I mean Yixing was the one who took care of it…” Junmyeon trails off. “But I also had another reason for coming, so it made sense to bring it along. I know I should’ve mentioned before I dropped by, but I was wondering if I could come in?”

Chanyeol’s eyes widen a bit. “Oh, of course! But I don’t think Kyungsoo will be back for a while. You can wait if you want but—” 

“Actually, I had something for you,” Junmyeon says, ignoring the fact that he cut Chanyeol off. “If that’s alright?”

Chanyeol loses his breath for a second.

“Oh—of course! Come on in,” Chanyeol says, shaking himself. He steps out of the doorway to gesture Junmyeon inside. Could this finally be it?

Junmyeon heads straight into the kitchen and lets his backpack drop down to the table with a thud. He unzips the second-largest pocket but hesitates to reach in right away.

“So,” he starts, “I decided to try out baking.” He pulls a blue tupperware out of his bag, and the way Chanyeol’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead is a purely subconscious reaction. “I’ve never really baked before, so I had to look up a recipe online.” Junmyeon pops the lid off the container, revealing what seem to be large-cut brownies. 

“Wow, Junmyeon,” Chanyeol says. Junmyeon offers him the container, and he observes the probably-brownies up close. “What made you want to start baking?” 

“I’ve been trying to ‘diversify my interests’ lately. I can cook some things, so I thought baking might not be too far of a stretch? I thought you’d be a good first taste-tester.” Junmyeon doesn’t seem sure of himself, which. Fair. Junmyeon is confident in things he knows he can do, but he’s not much of a risk-taker. He tends to worry, to flit back and forth on choices especially if he’ll be judged for it later. Baking is definitely Junmyeon putting himself out on a limb.

Chanyeol takes one of the brownies out of the tin. It’s lighter than it looks and… quite hard. They looked fairly gooey in the tupperware, but now that he’s holding one it feels very brittle. Chanyeol sets the container down onto the kitchen table carefully. 

“Not that I’m complaining,” Chanyeol says, eyeing the brownie, “but why me?”

“I was thinking about you while I made them, actually. It’s… well, I keep my cactus in the kitchen, and while I was stirring I remembered how you saved her for me when I overwatered her.”

Brownie momentarily forgotten, Chanyeol’s mouth gapes open. “You know about that?”

Junmyeon chuckles. “Yes, Chanyeol, I know. Minseok asked me who had been doing magic in the apartment later that day, and he tracked it down to the cactus. It wasn’t a hard deduction from there. And don’t worry! I’m taking better care of her now. Although, if I ever accidentally wilt her again, I’ll be sure to call you.” Junmyeon’s voice softens. “You really have magic for everything, don’t you.”

Chanyeol doesn’t know how to respond. He’s done small things like that so many times over the years; how much more has Minseok exposed about him? 

“Plus, I thought you might like being the first to test out my baking. And you’re honest, but you won’t make fun of me as much as the others would if it turns out poorly.”

“That’s probably true,” Chanyeol says. “Well, here goes!” Chanyeol takes a bite off the corner of the brownie. 

Rubber.

They taste like rubber. Rubber, with the texture of an old stick of chalk.

Chanyeol gags, half-stifling a cough. The bottom of the brownie is literally just like chalk, and powder dust coats the inside of his throat. He tries to swallow, but the brownie gets caught in his throat and he gags again. His eyes are watering now, and he can just make out Junmyeon’s alarmed expression. 

He’s swallowing this brownie, dammit. 

It takes a minute but eventually the thing goes down. It scratches at his throat the way he imagines swallowing a rock would, and it sinks like one too. There’s still a layer of dust in his mouth, and he tries to swallow it down, but it won’t go away. He sets the rest of the brownie on the counter and fills a tall glass of water for himself. He gulps it down, praying that the powder goes with it. He drinks the whole glass and practically slams the cup down to the counter when he’s done, gasping for breath. He stares at the cup, still heaving, acutely aware of Junmyeon’s unmoving form next to the kitchen table.

The silence stretches between them for some time. 

“That bad?” Junmyeon asks tentatively. He sounds shocked, more than anything. Better than him being sad, Chanyeol supposes. 

“Didn’t you—didn’t you try these? While you were baking them?”

“No, I didn’t. I guess I didn’t think to.” Junmyeon pauses for a second, collecting his thoughts, and shakes his head. “Chanyeol, I—shit—I’m so sorry. I didn’t think they would be so bad. I swear.” Junmyeon sounds sad now, regretful, and that won’t do.

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol says, shooting Junmyeon a watery smile, “I know you didn’t mean to. At least you tried, right?”

Junmyeon gives Chanyeol a tight smile of his own. “I guess so…” He seems relieved, probably let his anxiety get the better of him in those few tense moments, but his nose is twitching and he won’t meet Chanyeol’s eyes. 

Chanyeol moves back to where Junmyeon is still standing by the kitchen table. Junmyeon looks up to him briefly before he retreats back into his shell. 

Chanyeol lays a comforting hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “It’s fine,” Chanyeol says, softly. “Why don’t we go to Starbucks or something and get some real brownies? Or we could go get a mix and make new ones together. I don’t have anything going on tonight, we could make a night of it and watch some movies with Kyungsoo when he gets home.”

“Thank you,” Junmyeon says. He’s quiet for a moment, considering. “That sounds fun,” he continues, “Let’s just throw these out first.” He makes to pick up the tupperware, but Chanyeol stops him.

“Actually… I think I have a use for these. Baekhyun keeps stealing my food, and these would be the perfect deterrent.” Junmyeon smiles, his eyes crinkling in the corner, and Chanyeol can’t help but grin back. 

They do end up making fresh brownies that night, and when Kyungsoo gets home, he’s too tired to stay up with them, so it’s just the two of them for movies as well. They’re watching generic superhero movies now, and if Chanyeol were more naive, he would think the day’s events were an indication that his potion had taken effect.

Unfortunately, everything that had happened today had been normal Junmyeon behavior.

Returning Kyungsoo’s binder, baking with Chanyeol in mind, the minor anxiety attack when he was worried that he had either killed Chanyeol or angered him. His behavior while they were baking and eating dinner and even now, when Junmyeon is cuddled comfortably into his side, isn’t unusual for Junmyeon. 

And being friendly like this with Junmyeon? It’s a wonderful, horrible thing. Junmyeon is a great person, despite his shortcomings in baking. Chanyeol’s glad that Junmyeon had come to him with the brownies, and he’s especially glad that he knew enough about Junmyeon to defuse the situation and turn the day back around to happy when it took a dip. Chanyeol will remember this day, cherish it, and not because he almost choked to death on a well-intentioned brownie. 

This is the Junmyeon he fell in love with. The one who’s earnest, and caring, and maybe not so good at practical skills if he isn’t directed. The one who does nice things for his friends because he loves them, expecting nothing in return. The one who can’t stand the thought of someone being mad at him, especially when he thinks he deserves it.

Chanyeol loves him. He loves Junmyeon. He loves him so much it hurts, it’s fucking painful, to have Junmyeon so close and not have him the way Chanyeol wants. 

But no matter how much Chanyeol loves him, apparently even a magic potion can’t make Junmyeon love him back. 

——

“And then she has the audacity to tell me that it’s somehow _my_ fault that she lost my fucking scantron,” Baekhyun says, steam practically pouring from his ears. “I took the test! I was literally in the front row the day we all took it!”

Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Jongdae are out at a little cafe near campus for their standing chingu lunch date. It had started as a study group in their first year, but now that they’ve branched away from their gen eds, it’s turned into more of an in-person catch-up/’air your grievances’ session. 

“That’s rough,” Kyungsoo says, sipping at his iced tea, “did you take it up with the professor?” 

“No, because. Here’s the thing,” Baekhyun says. “The professor doesn’t do anything in that class. He lectures incoherently half the time and the other half the TA just sends us a slideshow. He has no idea what he’s doing.” Jongdae chuckles; this is clearly a rant he’s heard before.

Baekhyun glares at Jongdae and continues. “If I take it to the professor he literally just won’t do anything about it. And if I take it up with the department, the professor will get all mad at me for taking it over his head.”

“So what are you going to do?” Chanyeol asks. 

“Well, I emailed the TA two days ago to tell her that I took the test and that people remember seeing me there and will vouch for me. I don’t know how she could get enough emails to not have seen it for the past two days”—Baekhyun rolls his eyes—”but I’m going to her office hours tomorrow if I don’t get a response.”

Their lunches arrive after that, and conversation flows readily. One of Chanyeol’s favorite things about his friends is that there’s almost always something to talk about—and when there isn’t, the silence is comfortable. He knows that he can talk to them about anything, and they’ll only make fun of him when he deserves it. 

Nearing the end of their meal, Chanyeol finally works up the courage to mention what’s been restless at the back of his mind the whole time. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are chatting idly to each other, and Jongdae is sitting back contentedly in his chair watching them. Chanyeol takes the opportunity to speak up. 

“Can I talk to you guys about something?”

Baekhyun cuts himself off mid-sentence, looking at Chanyeol with questioning eyes. Kyungsoo and Jongdae do the same, all three with small frowns tugging at their lips. 

“Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asks, voice laced with concern. The four of them have been through it all together, but they don’t often bring up deeper worries during lunch dates like these. Chanyeol must’ve let something icky creep into his voice—he’s really gotta work on that.

“It’s not that bad,” Chanyeol says, hurrying to mend their frowns, “I shouldn’t have said it like that. It’s just…”

Jongdae reaches a hand across the table to pat Chanyeol’s arm. From anyone else, it might’ve been patronizing, but not Jongdae. “What is it, Chanyeol?” he asks, all serious. 

“I…” Chanyeol supposes he had better just start at the beginning. “I like Junmyeon. Like, actually like him. A lot.” Kyungsoo squints at him, not unlike when he forgets to wear his glasses. Baekhyun, however, just looks confused. 

“Is that,” Baekhyun pauses, unusually cautious, “news?”

Chanyeol sighs. “Well, no. I’ve liked him since our first year, but—wait, what do you mean ‘is that news?’ You already knew?” 

Jongdae and Baekhyun share one of their unreadable looks. Kyungsoo silently leans back in his seat. 

“It’s just,” Jongdae says, tentative, “we didn’t think you were keeping it secret?” Chanyeol grimaces, wishing vaguely that the earth would open up and swallow him whole. “It’s been kind of obvious. You talk about him more often than anyone else, and the two of you are always studying together. And you stare—hard—when Baekhyunnie and I try to rile him up.” Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun, and then to Kyungsoo, hoping for some indication that Jongdae is wrong. 

“Wait—does everyone know? Does _Junmyeon_ know?” Has he really been that obvious? Staring? Chanyeol is mortified.

“I think so?” Jongdae says, glancing to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. “I mean, maybe not the kids but… Minseok, Yixing, we all do.” 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun agrees, “but I don’t think Junmyeon knows. He’s somehow even more dense about love than you.”

“Hey! I’m not—” 

“Yes, you are,” Kyungsoo says. 

Chanyeol closes his eyes, breathing deep. “Okay—well. That’s not the point.” 

“Oh,” Jongdae starts, head tilted and crinkled eyes sparking with interest, “did you finally decide to act on your feelings?” 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, “kind of.” Kyungsoo inhales sharply. 

“Did you really…?” Kyungsoo starts, eyes drilling into Chanyeol’s. Kyungsoo recoils slightly, clearly unhappy with what he sees in Chanyeol’s expression. “Are you kidding me, Park Chanyeol?”

“What?” Baekhyun asks, leaning toward Chanyeol eagerly. “What happened? You asked him out? What did he say?”

Chanyeol frowns, not quite sure how to explain himself now that he’s been put on the spot, especially with Kyungsoo’s disapproval. “Not exactly.” He hesitates another beat. “I decided that I would try something else first.”

Kyungsoo lets out a long-suffering sigh.

“Something else?” Baekhyun asks. “What does that mean?”

“I’m sure he didn’t like me back. So I thought that—” Chanyeol tries to work up the nerve, suddenly shy in the face of his decisions. “I thought that the best way would be to...”

When Chanyeol trails off, Kyungsoo says, “Chanyeol, here, brewed a love potion. And apparently he’s already given it to Junmyeon.”

Baekhyun and Jongdae are stunned silent; that clearly wasn’t what they were expecting to hear. 

“You did what?” Jongdae asks, shaking out of his shock, a grin creeping onto his incredulous face. 

“I brewed a love potion for him,” Chanyeol says. “I wanted to, you know, push him in my direction.”

Baekhyun isn’t even trying to hide his amusement. “And you gave it to him?” Chanyeol nods. “Did you tell him you were giving it to him?”

“There’s a sort of backwards-placebo effect to potions sometimes, so it works better if the person doesn’t know they’re getting it,” Chanyeol says. “For love potions, at least. So I didn’t.”

“So you… drugged Junmyeon?” Jongdae asks.

Chanyeol blanches. “No! It’s not _drugging_ , that’s not how potions work!”

“I told you,” Kyungsoo says, “when you were brewing it. That this was a bad idea and vaguely like you were drugging Junmyeon to be into you.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you roofied Junmyeon,” Baekhyun says, tears in the corner of his eyes from disbelieving laughter. “What the _fuck_ , Chanyeol.”

“It’s not a roofie!” Chanyeol says, a little too forcefully. Chanyeol glances around the cafe and sees a couple at a table nearby staring at him in horror. He smiles as apologetically and innocently as he can and turns on Baekhyun. “It’s not a roofie.” 

Jongdae and Baekhyun, for apparently thinking he drugged their friend, are having a grand time laughing in his face. Kyungsoo, Chanyeol’s best witch friend, makes no move to correct them even though he _actually_ knows what potions do. And, despite his annoyance with Chanyeol, Kyungsoo is also clearly entertained.

So much for friendship. 

“It’s not drugging. Potions don’t have effects like medications do—they just make you… more open to whatever the potion is supposed to do to you.” Jongdae looks like he wants to protest again. Chanyeol hurries to cut him off before he can. “It’s like a strength potion—If I take a strength potion but don't actually put in any work, I won't change at all. But if I work out a bit and get in the right mindset, I would see results and build muscle way faster.”

Baekhyun wipes at his eyes, still chuckling, but calmed down from his initial hysterics. He leans his head on his chin. “And how does that work?” He asks. “‘You can do anything you set your mind to?’” 

“That’s how magic works, really. It’s all about harnessing energy that already exists.” Chanyeol pauses, considering his words. “With a love potion, it’s not like Junmyeon is suddenly going to fall head over heels for me. And it’s definitely not like a roofie.” 

“Not that this isn’t incredibly creepy,” Kyungsoo says, “because it is. I disagree with it wholeheartedly. But you could make a potion for any emotion—give someone a happiness potion, and it’s not like all of their problems will suddenly be solved, or that they’d be instantly cured of depression. But potions make people more suggestible to certain feelings and help them to see their circumstances in a different light.”

Jongdae and Baekhyun share an indecipherable look with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo just rolls his eyes again. 

“Okay, so you made Junmyeon more ‘open’ to loving you. Is that right?” Jongdae asks.

“See, that’s the thing,” Chanyeol says. “He should’ve been. Or, if he didn’t return those feelings at all, he should’ve at least been able to recognize that I liked him.”

“‘Should’ve?’” Baekhyun asks. “What happened?” 

“I gave the potion to him about two weeks ago, now. It doesn’t take effect for the first day or so, granted, but so far he hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary or mentioned anything about it at all. I could’ve sworn I brewed it perfectly, but I think I may have done something wrong. Otherwise, Junmyeon must really not like me.”

Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows. “Wait, it’s been two weeks? And he hasn’t said anything?”

“No! There were a couple times when I thought, maybe. But I was just reading too far into the situation. He’s acted the exact same as he always does.” For a moment, all three of them are silent. 

Baekhyun bursts into loud laughter again. Chanyeol recoils, and as he looks around the restaurant he sees several other patrons shooting them weird looks. Chanyeol turns back to the table frantically. 

“What? What’s so funny?” If anything, Baekhyun laughs harder. 

“Shut—shut up, Baekhyun,” Jongdae says, trying to quiet his partner down, but he keeps being interrupted by his own peels of laughter. “Be quiet, oh my god!” Even Kyungsoo is laughing, harder than Chanyeol’s seen him in a while, previous annoyance apparently forgotten. 

“Seriously, why are you laughing?” Chanyeol hisses, feeling abruptly like he’s the butt of the joke. “What are you on about?”

Jongdae has given up on Baekhyun, choosing to cry-laugh into his shoulder instead. Chanyeol can see a couple of Baekhyun’s own tears leaking out the corners of his eyes.

“It’s too good, it’s too good,” Baekhyun gasps out. 

Kyungsoo’s laugher dies down first, and Chanyeol silently pleads with him to explain. Kyungsoo takes a long drink and shakes his head, a few errant chuckles slipping out.

“Chanyeol,” he starts, still grinning, “think about it. Not this”—he gestures to Baekhyun and Jongdae, still curled into each other and practically dying—”think about your situation with Junmyeon.”

“I don’t understand how that’s funny?”

“Okay, try this. Repeat everything you’ve just told us,” Kyungsoo says. 

“I have a crush on Junmyeon, so I brewed a love potion to give him. But he’s acting the same, so I must have brewed it wrong or something.”

“Jesus, Chanyeol,” Jongdae says, finally calming down.

“You guys are the worst,” Chanyeol says. “Tell me what you’re laughing at, since I clearly don’t find this situation funny. It feels like you’re laughing at me.”

“We’re not laughing _at_ you,” Baekhyun says, giggling. “Well, maybe just a little.”

“Just think about it,” Kyungsoo says, and their check arrives before he can elaborate.

Chanyeol tries not to let it bug him throughout the rest of his day. He puts the weird conversation with his friends out of his mind, and he tries to focus on his work the next few hours at least. By the time he finishes an unexpectedly lengthy set of suggested problems for one of his classes, he’s tired enough that he’s ready to go to bed at 9:30.

So, he does. One thing he’s learned over the years is to listen to his body’s cues, and to see the value in an early night in. He takes a late night shower and goes through the rest of his nighttime routine, and he’s into bed within the hour. Chanyeol does have a bit of a ‘phone in bed’ problem, so after setting an alarm he tries to set it aside. Unfortunately, he also has a ‘thinking in bed’ problem, so he’s kept awake by his own circling thoughts despite his good intentions.

With nothing else on his mind, he stews over his lunch with Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Jongdae. He hates being cross with his friends, but he hates being kept out of the loop, as well. He’s not angry with them, really, because he knows that they must’ve had a good reason to make Chanyeol parse whatever it is out by himself. The thought doesn’t make him any less irritated, though.

Still, the only thing to do is to take Kyungsoo’s advice and think it through. It’s not like Chanyeol hasn’t been thinking about Junmyeon, or his situation; Junmyeon, especially these past two weeks, has been just about the only thing on Chanyeol’s mind. But there’s clearly something he’s missing. 

He thinks about the messages and the conversations they’ve had, all the things Junmyeon’s said to him that might indicate something more. He think about the jokes, the teases, the loving harassment, the adorable lilt Junmyeon gets at times when he’s feeling especially playful. He thinks about all the little things Junmyeon does, the way he crunches his nose and furrows his eyebrows and puffs out his cheeks. He thinks about the way he pats Chanyeol’s arms, embraces him, and especially the way Junmyeon had curled into him some nights ago. 

And then he moves further outward, and thinks about some of the conversations they’ve had way before the love potion was even conceptualized. He recalls Junmyeon’s encouragements, his comforts, and as many as he can remember, he’s sure there’s hundreds more that he’s forgotten. He reminisces on some of their most memorable times together, those precious moments when Junmyeon seeks out Chanyeol before anyone else, those long nights they’ve spent together, talking for hours alone. He remembers the times when Junmyeon has cuddled him close, comfortable, and even the handful of times when they’ve ended up sleeping side by side, Junmyeon never objecting when Chanyeol wraps him in tight. 

He thinks about the way Junmyeon looks at him. How different it can be depending on Junmyeon’s mood, whether his eyes are shining with happiness or tears. How different it can seem, from when he looks at the others. How special his gaze can make Chanyeol feel, when he looks at him and it’s so clear that he can see a beautiful side of Chanyeol that he himself has never been able to fully see, and—

Chanyeol really is an idiot. 


	3. Chapter 3

After all, the nine of them do end up having a celebratory dinner a few nights after Chanyeol’s epiphany. They all had the night off on a Friday, and what better way to celebrate than to go out to dinner and for drinks after? Plus, it’s so infrequently that they’re all able to pull themselves together for a formal night, that they have more to celebrate than just Junmyeon’s paper. In the interim since their last dinner, several other projects and papers had been turned in, and Jongin and Yixing’s dance group had won a competition as well. 

He’s not sure if he’s ready to see Junmyeon yet. He knows that, once he does, he won’t be able to let the issue sit for long. But Chanyeol knows as well that it would be so unlike him to skip tonight, that a whole new barrel of questions would be unleashed, and not just from Junmyeon, either. So he doesn’t have much of a choice at all but to go.

“Hey, guys,” he says, taking a seat between Yixing and Sehun. “Sorry we’re a bit late.” He and Kyungsoo are only a little over five minutes late, but everybody else is already seated. 

“To be honest,” Baekhyun says, “I’m surprised that somehow you and Kyungsoo are even slower than Jongdae. He’s like a snail in the bathroom—he must’ve redone his eyeliner ten times.”

“Hey!” Jongdae says. “And whose eyeliner looks better?”

“Is this a trick question?” Yixing stage-whispers.

Sehun, smug look on his face, says, “It’s Jongdae’s, though. Nothing tricky about that.”

Baekhyun makes to reach across the table at Sehun. “You little shit! Only Jongdae and Minseok are allowed to insult my eyeliner abilities.” 

“Yeah, boyfriend privileges,” Jongdae says, and after a thoughtful beat, “And Minseok.” Chanyeol doesn’t miss the smug, musing look Minseok shoots them as Baekhyun plants a quick kiss on Jongdae’s cheek. Sehun fake gags and covers his eyes. 

“Well, we’re only late,” Kyungsoo says, “because Chanyeol was dawdling around. It’s not like he was even doing anything, either, because when I went to get him to leave he was laying in his bed on his phone.”

“I just lost track of time since I was doing something important,” Chanyeol says.

“Important?” Minseok turns his attention away from Jongdae and Baekhyun and leans forward to watch Chanyeol’s reaction. “I wonder what you could’ve been doing on your phone, in bed, that’s so important, hmm?” 

Truthfully, Chanyeol had been debating with himself on whether he should say he got sick last-minute and skip the dinner, but it’s not like he can just admit to that. 

“Your silence is suspicious,” Sehun says, ever the co-conspirator. “Were you texting a secret girlfriend?” Chanyeol glares at Sehun. 

“Ooh, or was it a boyfriend?” Jongdae pipes up from across the table. 

Chanyeol resists the urge to glance at Junmyeon, see whether the elder is paying this conversation any attention. “You three are menaces. No, I wasn’t texting any secret partners, of any gender.” 

Sehun opens his mouth, clearly poised to launch another smarmy response.

“And no, before you keep guessing,” Chanyeol cuts him off. “You’re wrong.”

“Booo,” Minseok says, pouting more cutely than anyone his age has any right to. “You’re no fun.”

Luckily, their server arrives to take their order before the conversation can devolve further. They’re at an authentic Korean joint that’s become their go-to whenever they go out as a group. Not only is it walking distance from campus, but they have one of the best selections of banchan in town, satisfying all of them despite their differing palates. 

During the meal, Chanyeol definitely gets his fill. He has an advantageous seat to the grill, and he ends up grilling a lot of the meat for the table. He’s never been very connected to the age hierarchy aspect of Korean culture, despite his heritage, so he doesn’t have an issue grilling for his juniors—although, surprisingly, Sehun does elect to pour them all drinks this time, rather than just for the hyungs he actually respects. Either way, Chanyeol’s position allows him to see the best pieces of meat and scoop them up for himself, or—as he does more often—push them in Junmyeon’s direction.

“Yeah, Junmyeon’s being a spoilsport tonight,” Baekhyun says, pulling Chanyeol out of his post-dinner haze.

“Huh?” Chanyeol says. 

“Junmyeon-ge drove here,” Yixing fills in for Chanyeol, “because he doesn’t want to drink tonight.”

Chanyeol looks down the table to Junmyeon. “Is that right?”

“Yeah, I did,” Junmyeon says. “I had a bit of a headache this morning, so I want to catch up on sleep. And it’s not because I secretly hate you all, even thought that’s what Baekhyun thinks.”

“I don’t know, the evidence is all there,” Baekhyun says, giggly, seemingly already starting to feel the soju. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that you were just staying with us out of maternal obligation.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Minseok says, laughing as well, “he’s already too maternal with us as it is.”

“You guys,” Junmyeon says, his patent mixture of mild annoyance and bashfulness clear on his face.

Minseok grabs the check, and they all stand up and start to make their way toward the front. Junmyeon hangs back and waits for everyone to pass, and Chanyeol positions himself so that Junmyeon will follow right behind him. As everyone files outside and Minseok goes to pay for their food, Chanyeol pulls Junmyeon to the side. 

“Junmyeon,” Chanyeol says, “if it isn’t too much trouble, I was hoping that you could drive me home.” 

“Ah, and you couldn’t defend me from Baekhyun’s ribbing when you wanted to go home too?” Junmyeon teases, but taking in Chanyeol’s solemn look, he nods his acceptance seriously. “That’s fine, I’m just playing. I thought that you would go drinking with the rest, though—are you feeling alright?”

“I feel fine,” Chanyeol says, although the butterflies in his tummy and his pounding heart beg to differ. “I was actually wondering if I could talk to you about something.”

Junmyeon’s frown melts into a carefully neutral expression, the one expression of his that Chanyeol probably dislikes seeing the most. Junmyeon, for how bad of a direct liar he is, is a professional at hiding his emotions and thoughts when he feels the need to.

“Of course, Chanyeol,” Junmyeon says. “Anything.” 

Minseok finishes paying and the three of them walk out together. The rest of the group is waiting near Junmyeon’s car, and unsurprisingly, they all gripe at Chanyeol when he opens the passenger side door. 

“Aww, you too? I can’t believe you would abandon us like this,” Baekhyun says. “Well, actually I can. That’s what makes it so sad.” 

“Sorry, everyone,” Chanyeol says, bowing his head slightly. “I’m too tired to go out tonight.” 

Baekhyun looks like he’s about to comment again, but Chanyeol sees Jongdae discreetly elbow him in the side. Baekhyun squints at Jongdae, but it’s clear exactly when he realizes what Jongdae’s trying to tell him. 

“Well, don’t have too much fun you two,” Minseok says, knowing smile pointed toward Junmyeon. 

“I’m just dropping him off,” Junmyeon says, and Chanyeol is surely imaging the flush on Junmyeon’s cheeks. “You won’t be missing out on anything.”

The group says their goodbyes and starts their next walk. Chanyeol and Junmyeon finally actually get into the car, and as they’re pulling out of the restaurant lot and driving away, Chanyeol finally gets to small talk with Junmyeon. They hadn’t been seated close enough to each other at dinner to chat comfortably.

“So, have you gotten a grade back for your paper?” Chanyeol asks.

Junmyeon doesn’t respond for a moment as they approach a stop light. “Not yet,” he says, once they’re stopped, “but I’m hopeful. To be honest, my professor grades a bit too harshly. Either way, I think I did a good job.”

“I’m sure you did,” Chanyeol says. “You always do.” 

After that, the conversation dies off. But it’s a comfortable sort of silence, and Chanyeol doesn’t mind that. The drive is only around ten minutes anyway, and for most of it, Chanyeol finds himself staring out the window. Each minute that passes, though, his nervousness over what’s to come seems to increase tenfold. 

Junmyeon pulls into a parking space. 

“So…” he says, “did you want to talk out here? Or should we go upstairs?”

“Upstairs would be better,” Chanyeol says. Junmyeon nods, turns off the car, and the two of them step out. 

The walk up to Chanyeol’s apartment is another lapse into silence. Either way Chanyeol’s anticipation is too built up for him to be anything other than antsy right now, but he’s not sure that the feeling isn’t mutual. By the time Chanyeol goes to unlock the door, his hand is shaking minutely. 

Chanyeol stops once he’s fully into the sitting area, Junmyeon naturally stopping behind him. Chanyeol turns to face Junmyeon, but neither speak for a moment. Chanyeol avoids looking at Junmyeon for as long as he can. 

He opens his mouth to speak and—oh. Oh, that’s Junmyeon, Junmyeon is kissing him. _Oh_.

Chanyeol’s eyes slip shut, mouth moving on its own volition. His hand comes up on autopilot to cup Junmyeon’s cheek. His lips are dry, a little chapped, but still soft and plush and everything and more than what Chanyeol thought they would be. His mouth tastes like the soju they just drank and the mint of his toothpaste and—

Chanyeol pulls away. Shakes himself out of it. Tries to turn himself right side up again so he can somehow fix this mess he’s created. 

Junmyeon is still so close to him, and he’s smiling, a pure, contented little thing, and Chanyeol _aches_. 

“I’m sorry if that’s too forward of me,” Junmyeon says, breathless, “I just—I’ve liked you for some time now, Chanyeol. When you asked me up here tonight, I—well, I was sure that I’d been reading the signs right. That you like me too.” He meets Chanyeol's eyes, the way he does when he's entirely self-assured and confident in his words. 

If anything, his confidence makes this whole thing that much worse.

Chanyeol’s frozen. He’s sure that he looks horrified and terrified and sad all wrapped up in one, and he distantly hopes that Junmyeon can’t tell. “I—I do,” he chokes out. “I do like you.”

Junmyeon smiles wider and—oh, god, what has Chanyeol done. Junmyeon leans up, seeking his lips again, but Chanyeol steps away before he gets to them. “Wait, Junmyeon.” 

Junmyeon looks at him questioningly, a little hurt, perhaps, and looking away is all Chanyeol can do to keep talking. “I have to tell you something.”

“Is that—was that not what you wanted to discuss?” Junmyeon asks, and Chanyeol’s not sure if he’s imagining the wariness in his voice.

“Yes,” Chanyeol says. “But there’s something else, too.” He pauses, tries to work up a courage that he’s never had a firm grasp of. “I—I did something, Junmyeon. I need to tell you.”

Chanyeol finally looks back to Junmyeon. His eyes are wide, lips parted, tongue creeping out to swipe at them while Chanyeol watches. “What is it?”

“I’ve liked you for some time now,” Chanyeol says, “but I didn’t think that… you felt the same way about me.” In the face of it now, Chanyeol sees how absurd the notion has been all along.

“But—” 

Chanyeol cuts him off. “Please, it’s better if I just tell you.” Junmyeon nods, silent, worry etched into the lines of his face. 

“It’s been since forever, honestly,” Chanyeol says, “that I’ve liked you. And since I didn’t think you returned my feelings, I was trying to think of ways to get your attention. At first it was all the usual things—flowers, maybe, or gifts, but eventually...” he pauses. “I had an idea that I thought was perfect, at the time.

“Looking back now, I’ve never felt like such an idiot. But I went through with the plan. That day at the library a couple of weeks ago, with you and Minseok. Do you remember?”

Junmyeon nods. 

“That day… I saw my opportunity. I had brewed a love potion, to give to you, and I did. And I didn’t—I didn’t tell you.” Chanyeol’s voice breaks at the end. He meets Junmyeon’s wide, disbelieving eyes, and Junmyeon hurries to look away.

Chanyeol watches Junmyeon open his mouth to say something, but his expression twists into something broken before any words come out. 

“Junmyeon—I’m so sorry. _I’m so sorry_. You have no idea how much you mean to me, I—I would take it back if I could. I would do anything.” Chanyeol’s not crying, but it’s a close thing. 

“You—” Junmyeon starts, voice weak. “I don’t understand, you—you gave me a potion?”

“I did,” Chanyeol says, “and I know it’s not worth much right now, but it’s not the same as drugging. Potions don’t _force_ you to feel anything, exactly, they just… make you more open.”

“It’s—you still— _Chanyeol_ ,” he says, and all Chanyeol can do is watch as tears start to form in the corner of Junmyeon’s eyes. “How could you do that? Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know, I just—I thought that it was the right thing to do.” Junmyeon wraps his arms around himself, breathing shallow.

“I made the antidote,” Chanyeol says, reaching into his pocket, “just in case things… didn’t go as planned.” Chanyeol offers Junmyeon the bottle.

Junmyeon takes the bottle, carefully, so that their fingers don’t brush. “So—so what does it do?” Junmyeon asks. “Take away my feelings?”

“I’m not sure,” Chanyeol says. “The antidote is designed to neutralize the effects of the potion but—” He pauses. “If you liked me already, I’m not sure that it wouldn’t take away those feelings, as well.”

Junmyeon studies the bottle silently. 

“Please,” Chanyeol whispers, arms twitching to embrace Junmyeon. “Please believe me when I say that I regret it.”

Junmyeon meets Chanyeol’s eyes. He’s gotten his tears under control, it seems, at least for now. He’s still frowning, but he’s carefully tucked away the devastation Chanyeol had seen before. At this point, Junmyeon would almost be back to his neutral expression, but for his eyes; they’re a storm of emotion, sadness and pain and heartache raging just behind his irises. They flit down to the ground. 

Chanyeol would break even further seeing Junmyeon cry, but seeing him neatly, _skillfully_ pack his emotions away—it’s worse. It’s so, so much worse.

“I—I believe you,” Junmyeon says, but Chanyeol knows better than to hope to be forgiven. Even if Junmyeon would, Chanyeol doesn’t deserve it. “But I need time. I need to… think this through.” He pockets the bottle, but makes no move toward the door. 

“Okay,” Chanyeol says, although it’s so quiet and ineffectual that he’s unsure if he’s said anything at all. 

Chanyeol watches, unmoving, as Junmyeon walks to the door, opens it, and steps out into the hall. 

Junmyeon pauses. “Goodnight, Chanyeol,” is what he finally says, and then he’s gone.

——

Chanyeol is standing in the kitchen, staring at a full cup of tea, when the door clicks open. He hears Kyungsoo take off his shoes, drop his keys into the dish, and he hears the moment that Kyungsoo stops walking when he sees Chanyeol standing motionless by the counter.

“Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo says, still motionless just outside the kitchen. 

“Yeah?” Chanyeol chokes out, voice rough. 

Kyungsoo walks over to him slowly. “What happened?” 

Chanyeol’s silent. He’s not ready to talk about this, now. Maybe he never will be.

Kyungsoo lays a firm hand on his arm. “Did you—was it something with Junmyeon?” Again, Chanyeol says nothing. A minute passes, then two. 

Finally, Kyungsoo continues, voice small. “Did you tell him?”

The lump in Chanyeol’s throat, that he’s been holding in since Junmyeon left hours ago, grows suddenly and exponentially. He feels his face waver, and he—he’s—

“Yeah,” he breathes out, and that’s it.

He _crumples_. It’s an ugly, ugly feeling, a terrible feeling, the worst feeling he has inside. He instantly falls into Kyungsoo’s shoulders, Kyungsoo catching him easily and wrapping his arms around him. 

“Oh, Chanyeol,” he whispers. “It’ll be okay.” 

“No—no it won’t!” Chanyeol says. “You weren’t—he was so—I hurt him so bad. _So bad_. I’m such a fucking _idiot_. I ruined everything—I ruined it all.”

Kyungsoo rubs his back, silent. 

And it’s true, isn’t it? How could Junmyeon ever forgive him for what he’s done?

Chanyeol _sobs_.


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days pass in a haze. Chanyeol goes through the motions, does his homework, cooks and cleans around the apartment, attends lectures. But any spare moment he has, his mind starts wandering back to everything. He tries to keep himself occupied, but there’s only so much he can do in a day. And the complete, noticeable radio silence from Junmyeon whenever he checks his phone doesn’t help. The group chat has been dry the last few days as well, and Chanyeol hopes and prays that it’s a coincidence, but. 

To be fair, Chanyeol hasn’t attempted to talk to Junmyeon at all either. Chanyeol understands the need for space, understands the fact that Junmyeon will reach out again when he’s ready. If he’s honest with himself, he’s scared, too, of what Junmyeon will say when they talk again for the first time. So, for those reasons, he puts it off.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to check on Junmyeon, though. No matter what, he cares for Junmyeon. Deeply. It hurts him to know that he’s in pain, especially because Chanyeol is the cause. He would reach out to Minseok to check on Junmyeon, but despite Minseok’s open heart, Chanyeol has a feeling that he isn’t too happy with him right now. 

As he’s laying in his bed one night, mind once again too restless to get the early night he’d been planning, he decides to go to Baekhyun, instead. Baekhyun is generally in the loop most of the time, and it’s quite possible he’s seen Junmyeon in the last few days. Plus, no matter what Baekhyun does to annoy Chanyeol, he’s still one of his closest and most emotionally intelligent friends. 

**[Chanyeol] 10:24 PM**  
Do you know if Junmyeon is doing alright?  
he has every right to be mad at me, but I was just wondering...

**[Baekhyun] 10:40 PM**  
I mean I would say he’s doing about as well as you could expect  
After what happened anyway

**[Chanyeol] 10:40 PM**  
Have you seen him?

**[Baekhyun] 10:43 PM**  
yeah, he came over bc he had to talk to jongdae about smth for school  
we didn’t talk about it but he looked like a wreck waiting to happen  
too visual?

**[Chanyeol] 10:47 PM**  
Maybe a little  
But I guess I deserve it. I mean it’s the least I can do to have to hear that he’s upset

**[Baekhyun] 10:48 PM**  
Deserve might be a bit of a strong word, yknow?  
You should be regretful, + maybe its the least you can do  
But you deserve to move on from this too

**[Chanyeol] 10:55 PM**  
Can I call you?

The phone rings. 

“Hey, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, voice soft and neutral.

“Hey…”

A full silence follows. Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun is just giving him a moment to stew.

“How have you been holding up?” Baekhyun finally asks.

Chanyeol considers the question before answering. It won’t do him any good to lie at this point, especially to Baekhyun. “I’m alright. Kind of just been ignoring it all and pretending nothing’s happened.”

“Has anyone been by?” 

“No, other than Soo I haven’t seen anyone,” Chanyeol says. “I think they might hate me too. At least, those who know.” Chanyeol pauses.

“Does everyone know?”

Baekhyun hums. “Well, you told us about the plan yourself, and I’m sure Kyungsoo told Jongin who would tell Sehun, if he asked. And Minseok and Yixing are close with Junmyeon.”

Chanyeol sighs.

“Nobody hates you, Chanyeol. Please believe that.”

“They should,” Chanyeol says, matter-of-fact.

“No, they shouldn’t. Are they angry? Maybe. Are they disappointed? Probably,” he says. His voice goes softer. “But nobody hates you.”

“But they _should_ ,” Chanyeol insists. “I—I hurt Junmyeon. I was a fucking idiot.”

“I know you’re probably saying that because you hate yourself right now,” Baekhyun says, “and both of those last statements are true—but you have to look past them. You made a mistake, Chanyeol. Yes, it was a big and stupid mistake. But it was a mistake, and we all know that you had your reasons for doing it.”

“My reasons don’t make it okay. Even if nobody else hates me, Junmyeon definitely should.”

“I don’t want to speak for him,” Baekhyun says after a long pause. “But knowing Junmyeon, I sincerely doubt he does. He doesn’t hate so easily, and even if your reasons don’t make it okay, you had good intentions even if you acted selfishly.”

Chanyeol doesn’t reply. He traces the patterns on the ceiling above his bed idly, considering.

“At the base of this situation,” Baekhyun says. “You wanted Junmyeon to return your feelings. To love you. And that’s _okay_ , Chanyeol. You went about it the wrong way, but—and I can’t believe I’m saying this—it’s understandable why you chose the path you did. Junmyeon will see that.”

“Even if he did understand,” Chanyeol says, “I doubt he’ll understand enough to consider being with me ever again. Or being friends in any meaningful way.”

“You can make it up to him,” Baekhyun says. 

“How?” Chanyeol asks. Baekhyun doesn’t respond for a moment, so Chanyeol continues. “How did you do it?”

“Huh?”

“You remember that fight you had with Jongdae last year? We were all worried that you wouldn’t find a way to come back from that,” Chanyeol says. “But you did.”

“I did,” Baekhyun says. “That’s true. I don’t want to rehash it, and the relationship I have with Jongdae is different than you and Junmyeon, so knowing exactly what happened won’t help you a whole lot. “ Baekhyun thinks for a long while before continuing. “The bottom line is this: Junmyeon loved you before all of this happened, right? Despite his anger and disappointment and whatever else he’s feeling, he probably still does. You just have to remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place.”

“But _how?_ ” Chanyeol asks. “How can I ever come back from this?”

“That’s for you and Junmyeon to decide,” Baekhyun says. “But you can. I know you can.”

“No, you don’t,” Chanyeol says. He feels a little choked up, but soldiers on. “I—” 

Baekhyun cuts him off. “Yes, I do.”

Chanyeol doesn’t respond.

“Chanyeol,” he starts, “it pains me, a little bit, to say this so blatantly. You’re generous, and smart, and kind to a fault, sometimes. You’re a lovable idiot. Most of all, you’re a good person.

“Junmyeon knows that. He fell in love with that. And you can show him that that person is still there, waiting for him. And Junmyeon—Junmyeon is a good person, too. He’s selfless, and understanding. I’m sure his heart aches right now, but he understands why you did it.”

A long silence follows, once again. 

“Thank you, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says, quiet. 

“Maybe it’s not in the same way, but I love you too, Chanyeol. We’re family. No need to thank me for that,” Baekhyun says. “I’ll talk to you soon, alright?”

“Alright,” Chanyeol says. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Baekhyun says, and the line clicks dead.

Chanyeol stares at his phone screen for a second and powers it off, plugging it into its charger and setting it down on his night table. His eyes trail back to the patterns on the ceiling. 

Baekhyun is earnest about such things. Chanyeol got better advice than he should’ve reasonably expected, but still he’s wanted someone to just give him a step-by-step plan on how to fix things with Junmyeon. He knows how unrealistic the thought is, but still—he doesn’t feel smart enough, or kind enough, or anything-enough to be able to fix this mistake on his own.

Thoughts swirling, he falls into a fitful and dreamless sleep. 

——

Against all of Chanyeol’s expectations, Junmyeon approaches Chanyeol first.

**[Junmyeon] 7:56 AM**  
Are you free today?

 **[Chanyeol] 8:50 AM  
**Sorry, I just woke up. I’m free all day.

And that’s the last Chanyeol had heard from him, which was a couple hours ago. Chanyeol’s been debating going to the store, but he’s reluctant because he doesn’t want to miss whatever Junmyeon has in mind. It’s true that he’s not busy today, and going to get groceries isn’t necessary for a few more days (he and Kyungsoo would be subsisting on saltines and take-out, sure, but they’d survive), but the waiting is killing him. 

Then, there’s a familiar, polite knock on his door. Chanyeol springs up from the couch, smoothing down the shirt he’d put on, just in case. 

He opens the door, and Junmyeon is there, noticeable bags under his eyes and expression unreadable. 

“Can we go somewhere?” Junmyeon asks, without preamble. Chanyeol finds himself nodding before he even processes the question fully. 

“Sure,” Chanyeol says, “Anywhere.” 

Junmyeon smiles slightly, a little too sad to be reassuring. “Are you ready now?” 

Chanyeol nods. 

“Then let’s go,” Junmyeon says, stepping away from the door. Chanyeol grabs his keys from the bowl next to the door and steps out with him to lock it. 

They walk down to the car silently, Chanyeol attempting to stealthily check Junmyeon over for visible signs of wear. Besides the newly darkened eye bags, and the uncharacteristically empty smile Chanyeol had received at the door, Junmyeon looks more or less the same. But Junmyeon’s always been a tough nut to crack, so Chanyeol knows that he has to be patient to learn more.

Once they’re settled into their seats, Junmyeon speaks. “The drive is kind of long, so let me know if you need to stop sooner rather than later.” He checks the time. “We’ll probably be there at about three. I packed lunches, we can stop and eat whenever you want.”

“Sounds good,” Chanyeol says. “Can I ask where we’re going?”

“It’s a secret,” Junmyeon says, turning the ignition, “I’ll explain when we get there.” 

 

Chanyeol finds the drive surprisingly peaceful. He hadn’t been expecting to get into it in the car or anything, but he’d expected at least some awkwardness. However, the ride is mostly a calm sort of quiet, filled with a few short conversations, Junmyeon’s soft humming, and comfortable silence. Chanyeol finds himself watching out the window more often than not.

They break for lunch at a park a little ways out of town. There’s not much more than picnic tables and a climbing frame, but it looks well-kept. Either way, the place is deserted. It’s a bit of a chilly morning, and all of the children would be at school at this time, anyway, which explains it. 

“Sorry, it’s just some leftovers. I didn’t think far enough ahead this morning and only remembered to pack last minute,” Junmyeon says. He’s packed two thermoses of soup and some bibimbap, except the two thermoses contain different soups, so Chanyeol could have inferred himself that it’s leftover.

“It’s good,” Chanyeol says. “You make the best Korean food apart from Kyungsoo and Minseok, and anyway, since Kyungsoo actually cooks and Minseok grew up in Korea they don’t count. I think it tastes great.”

“Thanks,” Junmyeon says. They eat in much the same way that they’d been driving, in that same sort of quiet. Junmyeon informs him that his paper grade has been returned, and that Yixing has decided to go back to Changsha for their upcoming winter break, if he hadn’t heard, and that they’re about halfway to their destination. Chanyeol responds with similarly mundane things. 

He knows he should be freaking out right now, or at least be worried for what’s to come. It’s not that he thinks everything will work out—he doesn’t know. But if Junmyeon is here, and being with Chanyeol like he used to, then Chanyeol won’t let himself waste the opportunity. Whatever happens when they get to the end of the line, at least Chanyeol will have had these last few moments with him.

 

The remainder of the drive passes in a blur. After a while, the forest gives way to flatter land, and Chanyeol realizes that they’re driving toward the ocean. It’s an hour and a half drive from their college, which makes it a popular destination for spring breaks and impromptu road trips. Chanyeol’s been a couple of times, himself, and even driven before. However, Junmyeon must be taking them somewhere specific, further down the coastline than Chanyeol has ever been, as they’ve been driving down the unfamiliar roads for longer than an hour and a half already.

When Junmyeon clicks off the radio mid-song, Chanyeol knows they must be close.

And five minutes later, he’s proven correct. They pull into an empty parking lot, looking out over an empty stretch of the beach with a rickety-looking pier and some considerably nicer beach houses down the way.

“Let’s get out, shall we?” Junmyeon says. He turns off the car and steps out without waiting for an acknowledgement. 

Chanyeol slowly follows. The butterflies have started to kick up in his stomach.

The parking lot is on a small hill, with a road leading down to the beach houses at one end and a wooden stairway on the other. Junmyeon leads him to the stairway and down, until eventually they’re standing on the beach. Junmyeon pauses, so Chanyeol stops as well, glancing around the beach.

“I think the boards will be okay,” Junmyeon says, “that was my intention. But I haven’t been here in a while, and… well, I guess I wasn’t expecting it to be deserted completely, even though it isn’t beach weather. We don’t have to go out there if you don’t want to.”

Chanyeol looks back to the pier. It doesn’t look so bad now that they’re closer, and certainly doesn’t look bad enough that Chanyeol would be worried about it crumbling beneath them. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he says. If this were any other day, he would’ve made a quip about having to use a spell on them to keep the car from smelling like seaweed and salt water if they fell in.

Junmyeon nods and continues walking. They cross over from the sand to the wood planks together when they get there, walking side by side toward the open ocean. The pier is quite simplistic, really just a long platform of thick, wooden beams with posts holding it all together. There’s no handrail or ladder that Chanyeol can see, and he wonders when the last time a boat let people deboard here, if ever. 

When they get to the end, Junmyeon glances at Chanyeol once before he takes a seat, legs hanging over the edge of the boards. Chanyeol follows suit.

They sit like that for longer than Chanyeol can keep track of. The water is beautiful—it looks deep and cool, and, despite the clouds, the sun peeks out to bounce some color off the waves. It’s mid-afternoon, but the chilly atmosphere and grayish sky make it feel later.

“I suppose you’re wondering where we are,” Junmyeon says, finally. Chanyeol looks away from the water to him, but Junmyeon keeps his eyes trained on some far-off place, mind clearly wandering further than the waves. “I mean, besides just the ocean.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Chanyeol says, cautious. 

“No, I do,” Junmyeon says, turning to meet Chanyeol’s gaze. “I was just thinking about what I want to say.”

Chanyeol nods, and Junmyeon studies him a moment longer before turning back to the ocean. 

“Oh,” Chanyeol says. “Was this the place he was talking about?” Chanyeol pauses, considering his next words carefully. “But I thought you didn’t want to come back?”

“I didn’t, at first,” Junmyeon says, “but I think I like the idea now.” 

Not for the first time today, Chanyeol is unsure of how he should respond. 

“The reason we know this place,” Junmyeon continues, not waiting for Chanyeol to say anything after all, “is because Minseok and I came here once and stayed in the beach house in our first year. It was during first semester, so Yixing wasn’t here yet. But a couple of our older friends invited us along, including both of our boyfriends at the time.”

Chanyeol’s never gotten the full details of Junmyeon’s love life, because thus far it really hasn’t been any of his business. But the things he does know—Junmyeon’s lack of one since Chanyeol’s known him, namely, or his craving for affection, or the way Minseok sometimes looks at Junmyeon when he says something off-color—altogether they don’t paint a pretty picture of this older boyfriend. 

“The trip was mostly fine, until the end. And I don’t really want to talk it all out right now, because that’s not why I brought you here. But he wasn’t good for me. Not that he was abusing me, or anything, but we didn’t work well together, and I was too young to be in a meaningful relationship with him. But I loved him, and I didn’t want to end it, even though everyone was telling me I should. And then one night, on this pier, I did.” 

Chanyeol feels equal parts proud, and angry, and terrified of what’s going to come out of Junmyeon’s mouth next.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Junmyeon says, wistful. He's talking about the ocean, clearly, but he's looking at Chanyeol. Scrutinizing him, almost; Chanyeol is scared of what Junmyeon might see. “It reminds me of magic, sort of. Or at least how I imagine it to look. Ebb and flow. If I was ever going to have the abilities you have, I think I would find them here.”

Magic is something Chanyeol can focus on, something he can talk about. He can use it to try to lead himself away from thoughts of what it could mean that Junmyeon has brought Chanyeol to his break-up spot. 

“I’ve always seen it more as fire,” Chanyeol says. “They teach you to focus on a part of nature when you’re young, to help you understand.” Junmyeon’s intuition doesn’t surprise Chanyeol in the slightest.

Junmyeon hums. “Ah, so I could be a little witch yet?” He asks, teasingly. Chanyeol barely forces out a chuckle. It’s not as unheard of as Junmyeon probably believes.

“Anyway,” Junmyeon continues, “it’s beautiful, and reminds me of magic, which reminds me of you—that’s my point. I brought you here because I don’t think magical places like this should be ruined over one bittersweet memory.” Junmyeon pauses, and Chanyeol can’t take the not knowing anymore.

“I’m so sorry,” he blurts out, clearly startling Junmyeon. “I’m so sorry, Junmyeon.” 

He doesn’t respond, watching Chanyeol silently, expression carefully blank. 

“I know it was stupid to use the potion. I messed with your emotions, and that wasn’t right for me to do. It’s not fair to you.” He pauses, gathering his breath. He feels a lump grow in his throat. “I know I don’t have any right to ask for your forgiveness, and I know it’s probably hard to believe that I could ever—that I would do such a thing to you. But I’ll do whatever it takes for you to know how truly sorry I am, even if you never forgive me at all.”

Junmyeon is silent for another long moment, watching the water. Chanyeol waits with bated breath. 

“I know you’re sorry,” Junmyeon says, softer and sadder than Chanyeol ever wants him to be. “I know. And it would be a lie to say that—that I’m not angry, or disappointed. Because I am.”

Chanyeol makes to apologize again, but Junmyeon shushes him. “I’d be lying if I said that I completely forgive you, either, because I don’t. I _can’t_ , just yet.”

Chanyeol feels a single tear drip down one side of his face. In the silence, a few more follow, and Chanyeol can see that Junmyeon is getting worked up as well. 

“I thought about it a lot, over these past few days,” Junmyeon says, voice shaky. “About whether I could still be with you after what you did. Whether or not I could justify my feelings.” He takes a long moment to breathe. “But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that no matter how disappointed I was, no matter how sad I was—that I still loved you. Despite my disappointment that you could do such a thing, that you didn’t even know I’ve loved you for so long, I still do.” 

Chanyeol feels an unexpected hope bloom in his chest. “Does that mean…?” 

Junmyeon turns to him once again, and Chanyeol can clearly see the small tear tracks on his cheeks as well. “I love you, Chanyeol. And no matter how big of a mistake you made, I still love you. And I realized that—I realized that I don’t have to justify my feelings. It’s okay to still love you, even though I’m angry and sad and all of these other things too. It’s okay to love you and not be able to forgive you, yet. The only thing I have to justify is my choices, and—I want to make the best choice I can. That will make me happy, in the long run.”

“You still—after everything? You still love me?” Chanyeol asks, eyes wide, hopeful. “Even after the antidote?”

“Actually,” Junmyeon says, reaching into his pocket. “I didn’t drink the antidote.” He holds out the little bottle for Chanyeol. 

“What?” Chanyeol asks incredulously. “Why not?”

“Well,” Junmyeon says, “Even before the potion, I loved you. I remember loving you before that day at the library. And I know that an antidote is only supposed to take away what it changed, but the way I feel now… it feels real, to me. I feel the same as ever. And I know that it would be worse, to risk losing the way I feel for you now, than to leave whatever effects the potion had be.”

“Plus,” he adds, “I did some research, and apparently love potions are a lot less effective than one would expect. So who even knows if it had any effect at all, really?”

Chanyeol stares, slack-jawed for a moment, before coming to his senses. He pulls Junmyeon in for a kiss, and after a surprised moment of his own, Junmyeon returns it. Junmyeon’s lips are chapped, still, but they’re soft, and warm, and everything and more than Chanyeol remembers and he knows that what he has with Junmyeon is more magical than any potion could ever be. 


	5. Epilogue

Chanyeol’s in the middle of a covert midnight snack run when it happens. 

One moment, he’s quietly opening a tub of brownies (store-bought, thankfully), and the next moment, Irene is shattered on the ground. Well, Irene seems to be fine, it’s just the pot surrounding her that’s shattered.

“Shit,” Chanyeol says, glancing down the hallway to see if Junmyeon had woken up. He seriously cherishes this cactus—if he’s a little forgetful in her caretaking—and he wouldn’t want to see her all sprawled out on the ground like this, roots exposed to the world. He doesn’t hear anything right away, but odds are Junmyeon did wake up, and Chanyeol will have to move fast.

Chanyeol quickly crouches down, trying to assess the damage in the half-lit room. Luckily it seems like the ceramic pot broke into three large pieces, rather than actually shattered, which should make this a fairly quick fix. 

“Chanyeol?” Junmyeon asks from the room over. “I heard a crash, are you alright?” Chanyeol hears Junmyeon making his way down the hall.

He quickly sweeps two of the pieces into his hand. “Agglūtino,” he whispers, “agglūtināre, shit.” The two pieces slowly glue themselves back together. Apparently, Chanyeol’s magic didn’t get the memo that he’s kind of in a hurry here. 

“Chanyeol?” Junmyeon repeats. Chanyeol snatches up the last piece, but just before he can whisper the spell one more time, Junmyeon appears in the kitchen doorway. 

“What happened?” Junmyeon asks, squinting at Chanyeol in the half-dark. He flicks the lights on, and Chanyeol stares up at him guiltily from where he’s kneeling down on the floor, surrounded by dirt.

Junmyeon only seems to grow more confused once he gets the full picture. “Irene?” 

Chanyeol flinches. “It’s not what it looks like?” He tries. 

Junmyeon bends over to scoop Irene into his hands, seemingly uncaring of the dirt. “Really? Because it seems like you knocked Irene down and tried to fix her before I noticed. Is that not what happened?” Junmyeon asks, eyebrows raised. 

“Well,” Chanyeol sighs, “yeah, that’s exactly what happened.” When Junmyeon doesn’t reply, Chanyeol shamefully finishes spelling the pot back together. He finally gets up off the ground, setting the pot down on the counter and brushing some of Irene’s dirt off of his flannel pants. 

Chanyeol wordlessly assists Junmyeon in lowering Irene back into her pot. Junmyeon gives her a little more water and returns her to her perch further down the counter. 

“Brownies, huh?” He says, finally noticing the container still sitting open on the countertop. “You nearly killed my child for a lame store-bought brownie?”

“I think that’s a little extreme,” Chanyeol says. He turns on the sink to wash off his hands and scoots to the side when Junmyeon comes over to do the same. “She’s all better now, right?”

“Physically, maybe,” Junmyeon says, nose crinkling, “but mentally? She may never recover. You traumatized her, probably.”

“I’m sorry?” Chanyeol says, trying and failing to mask his grin. 

Junmyeon grins back, if a little more wearily. “Well, I suppose I’ve forgiven you for worse,” Junmyeon says, quietly. “But you still have to atone.”

“You can little spoon tonight?” Chanyeol says. They alternate in such things, but it’s no secret that they both somewhat prefer the inside. 

“You’re forgiven,” Junmyeon says, too quickly to make Chanyeol believe that he’d ever been in trouble in the first place. “Let’s go—you do know it’s 2:30 in the morning, right? I thought you were being murdered out here.”

“Really?” Chanyeol says as they start back to the bedroom. “And you came running to my rescue? That’s awfully sweet of you.”

Junmyeon chuckles. “Well, I realized it’s more likely just you—you make a lot more noise than you think. Plus, we both know you’d fare much better against any potential criminals, anyway.”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol says, getting into bed first and opening his arms. Junmyeon falls in soundly, tucking himself back against Chanyeol’s chest. “You could always charm them with your stunning good looks and amazing personality.”

Junmyeon hums, lacing his hand into one of Chanyeol’s larger ones. “That’s true, but I don’t know how much time they’d have to get to know me and my face in the middle of the night.” he says.

With that, Junmyeon settles in fully. “Good night, Chanyeol. No more brownie runs tonight, or you’ll really be in trouble.”

“Good night,” Chanyeol says, notching his head against Junmyeon’s. “And I promise I’ll be right here all night long. Or for the rest of the night, at least.”

“And tomorrow night,” Junmyeon says, voice sleep-soft and perfect. 

“And tomorrow night. And every other night, too,” Chanyeol says, already starting to drift off. He drowsily thumbs over Junmyeon’s hand and presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Forever.” 

“Forever,” Junmyeon says, and Chanyeol wants to hold onto this magic moment for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments appreciated! ~~also there might be a cbx sequel coming soon, but you didn't hear it from me~~


End file.
